2012 and I are not quite friends yet. I consider today the official start to 2012, because the 1st and 2nd days of this year were spent doing nothing - which, while enjoyable, doesn’t really add weight to the new year. Today is the first day I’ve actually had to have personal interactions with people other than my husband and my dogs, and it isn’t going well.
My first day back at work after a 3 day weekend and I’m finding silly mistake after silly mistake. Things that set the progress of not only my job, but other people’s work back. And I hate that. It’s one thing for me to deal with my consequences, but to keep being reminded that other’s are dealing with them as well…definitely on the top of my list of things that are on the bottom of my list (does that make sense?).
And I think I could handle this all better if all my missteps/frustrations/general-grumpy-inducing-situations were work related, but they aren’t. I can’t seem to get my footing in 2012, and I don’t want to start off the year with a rolled ankle.
God bless my husband for trying to be the ray of sunshine bringing it around to a better perspective - which I don’t usually have trouble with. It’s part of who I am to see the bright side, but I’m tired. I feel like 2011 worked me over enough where my sense of never waning optimism is now more worn out than the soles of a beloved pair of tennis shoes. Once unflappable - now a talking shoe, but instead of being comical, or sentimental and full of character I just keep getting my socks wet.
2011 was a year of intense growth for the Taylors. Stress piled up to the point of breaking on more occasions than I’m comfortable admitting. Change, disappointment, emotional exhaustion, and the natural progression of life in general forced us into new phases of learning about ourselves, our relationship, and our God. Don’t hear me wrong - so many good things happened in 2011. I wouldn’t give 2011 up for anything, but it left me wiped out.
I remember years ago listening to a sermon on growing pains, and how our spiritual growth can cause them just the same as when you were growing up. I don’t remember experiencing physical growing pains as a kid, but apparently they are completely normal for about 25-40% of children. As your body grows, it is not uncommon to feel pain (although there’s not great scientific proof that the growth of bones actually causes pain, but the development of muscles can. I actually researched that - such a nerd). I now understand the pain of growth. I would also venture to guess that spiritual growing pains are normal for at least 110% of everybody. Everybody. People who say that their lives are easier because of their relationship with Christ are lying. I feel like that would be impossible. If I am truly following in the footsteps of Christ, it had better be one of the hardest things I choose to do. If my relationship with God doesn’t require a high personal cost, then neither of us is getting the most bang for our buck. But I digress - 2011 was hard.
So I guess what I’m trying to do is have some perspective. 2012 isn’t necessarily bad - I’ve just got some residual 2011 on my shoes. As soon as I can shake some of it off, I’m sure 2012 and I will be besties (did I just say that - who am I?). Here’s looking at you 2012 - let’s do this.